Murdoch Holed Up in Libya as Insurgents Surround His Fortress
TOP reporter Howard Elston gives us his eye witness account from Libya on a last ditch shoot-out with an autocratic dictator
The sound of desperate gunfire, a bunker engulfed in flames and the panic of a defeated and crumbling army- that’s the setting as I crouch behind a stone wall hearing the whine of tracer bullets above my head.
It is the last futile hours for tyrant Rupert Murdoch and his depleted clan as he heads for his mountain redoubt under siege and surrounded by rebels, insurgents, Guardian editorial writers, The Han Solo 3rd Light Sabre Division, MPs and free-booters eager to end decades of tyranny and lies.
One insurgent, who can’t be named because he still does shifts for The Sunday Times which is owned by Colonel Rupert, said: ‘It’s the end an era. Now we can write articles without using illegal means.’
‘The first thing we’ll do when we get inside the Murdoch compound is destroy all audio bugging equipment used to hound hundreds of innocent celebs.’
As I look around me, I see dozens of Sky and Fox News satellite trucks proudly flying the new flags of freedom, many singing Fleet Street hymns long censored by the hated leader and others calling The Independent newsdesk asking for work.
‘I never thought I’d see the day..’ shouted one doorstepping tabloid hack from The Sun as she flung herself to the ground avoiding a cruise missile.
‘The evil Lord of Darkness is finished.’
She may have spoken too soon. Murdoch’s sons, who were designed to succeed him, are still at bay. James, last seen in the House of Commons choosing his words carefully and being economical with the truth, has been spotted first at The Rixos Hotel in Tripoli and then at an LA Fitness gym in Wolverhampton. His brother Lachlan is holed up in the States doing alot of yoga and awaiting the outcome of the prolonged fire fight.
One man, though, who will never cry defeat is Murdoch henchman Andy Coulson. He has been spotted inside the compound atop a Russian built anti-aircraft mobile unit, moving among the last vestiges of Murdoch’s troops and promising illegal payments if they stay on.
But there is no doubt this is the final chapter of the Murdoch rule.
+Howard read the latest Facebook message from Matthew of Milton Keynes: The seer says: ‘Meteorologists… make people fear hurricanes. Call them Hitler or Ghengis Khan to really scare them instead of names like Irene or Gary.’